Wednesday, September 21, 2011


Dear sweet Christ... I feel like I haven't updated in months.

I have quite a lot to say right now, but not the time to say it. I have no homework, but that means I have to clean my room, take out the trash, and do some general housework that I've ignored for a while.

Poor Mother, I almost always leave everything to her.

I have Fritz on the mind right now. But not in a very good way. This week I tested him and he failed. I'm afraid I'm going to be delivering some very bad news to him either tomorrow afternoon or Friday.

I have to do chores now. Upon my return I need to let out some of my pent-up frustration, thank you very much.

Saturday, September 3, 2011


Haven't updated in a week. Fantastic, lol. I don't particularly feel like updating, either. First week of school was pretty good. I don't know why I was so nervous. But whatever. I've been hanging out with Chris and Tim a lot at lunch. dey coo guise. So yeah.

I'm in So Cal again. God I hate coming here. California's got nice weather and all, but the people are stupid. Just fucking stupid. And the housing is so crowded and tiny. Every freaking house is a duplex and it's so freaking old.

Yeah, I keep getting distracted. I'll update again when I can focus.

Sunday, August 28, 2011


It's 3:17 AM on August the 28th, and school starts at 7:00 AM on the 29th.

As the hour draws closer, I'm becoming more and more nervous.

So I pass my time going over these videos that some people created, intending it to be an indie horror series, and trying to theorize what'll happen next. It's MarbleHornets, TribeTwelve, everymanHYBRID, and MLAndersen0. You can put that at the end of, and those users will show up. They're so INTERESTING, DUDE. I LOVE horror movies, I mean I adore them, but these have all scared me more than The Fourth Kind or even Candyman did.

Although, Candyman wasn't scary so much as it had an interesting storyline.

I can't sleep, dammit. I made some honey-milk to try to get me to be a little sleepier. I downed about half the mug already, and it's barely kicking in. This is kinda unusual.

I don't understand the Youtube videos. Just one thing, really. The Slender Man mythos describes it having an affinity for little children--yet all of those people are about college-aged. On the other hand, there was that video of when Alex from Marble Hornets was just a little kid...


Probably shoulda thought of it before--Slendy went after Alex first, but something stopped it from getting to him as a kid, and Tim must have gotten in the way, which is why he was made into a proxy, and Jay has interfered, too, which is why--DEAR GOD I'M RETARDED.

Seriously, that's kinda stupid for me not to have realized before, I mean--I pretty much analyze those videos as much as I can.

Hm, honeymilk is almost gone. I'm starting to get sleepy again.

Well, how's abouts a fill-in on my day--that's what a blog is for, right? Hm, after my last update, I went and spent the night at Lauren's. Didn't do anything the day after, and then today I went to Fritz's house. We had a generally good time ^_^ he was strangely romantic today. He usually isn't that kinda guy. He tries to be, because he knows I love it, but he's not... well, he's not very articulate.

And he didn't use his words much today, either, when he decided to be a sweetie and melt my heart. Instead he just stood me up on my feet, took my hands, and looked at me, with a smile on his face. He stroked my hair (or maybe he was pushing it out of my face--I don't know, but I liked it), and then pulled me into a very long hug, before pulling away and giving a really gentle kiss...

I love it when he does stuff like that. And I'm okay with him not using words. Words can't really describe how we feel for each other.

Is this my shortest update? Because it feels like it. The honeymilk is all gone, but I'm still only a little sleepy. I'll try to sleep, and if I can't, I'll come back and lengthen this post.


Eeeeyup, cannae sleep still. Which is strange--because I feel exhausted, but my mind is racing. I think I'm just nervous for school or something.

I can't even think of anything to write about. Phantastic. So here's summoar of my art.

That first one is a picture I did of myself, and one of my best friends, Novan. I've known that guy since 3rd grade. He's a fan of furries, but he can draw humans, too. He draws both VERY well, in my opinion. There, I drew his fursona, because in real-life, he's got thick, curly hair, and I haven't the slightest idea of how to draw such a thing. So I drew his fursona instead, and frankly I think it came out very well (considering I can't draw anthros)!

The second one is a quick thing I once did for my game programming class. Our team leader needed an idea for a background, and he wanted something simple, so I drew the field. He said he liked it a lot, but it wasn't what he was looking for.

The third one is... well, that takes some explaining. See, Novan and I have created our own "world", much like the kids in Bridge to Terabithia (great book, by the way). It's just this little island, with its own geography, and the inhabitants all have their own unique characteristics that set them apart from the rest of the human race. We thought up its mythology, form of government--everything. And what I drew is Forest of Illusion, actually quite the dangerous place on the island. I tried to make it look very gloomy, but I didn't draw the trees quite tall enough, and they're supposed to be different from the regular trees I draw. I also think the rain needs/needed work, but I think I got the darkness in the trees right, along with the cloudy, stormy sky, and most of all I'm still mind-blown by how well the lightning came out. I hadn't even expected it to be like that, but there it was, and I left it in for how amazing it looks.

The last one is the background in a portrait I did of myself, and is actually part of the same island I mentioned in the last paragraph. It's on the polar opposite side of the island as that forest, and is generally the place where people go to relax. The trees are fine, but the grass is supposed to look taller, and there are supposed to be a great deal of bunched-together flowers--it's a meadow. My clouds are all cute, too (though they were supposed to be more fluffy and stretched out).

Still not tired enough to sleep. And a good deal of time passed by after I wrote the above paragraph. Dear God, how am I going to survive the first week of school?

Actually, I'm starting to hallucinate and get really paranoid. That means that I actually am tired, even though I don't feel like it. I suppose I'll update later, before school starts. Good night.

Wednesday, August 24, 2011


So, first, right by my house there's a set of four parks bordering an intersection. There's one with a basketball and a volleyball court, one for little kids, one with a gazebo and a bike path, and one that's all grass with one little picnic area and lots of exercise posts around the whole field of grass. I was with my family when we walked Radar to the basketball park, and then I glance up at the gazebo park, and there's some guy in a business suit. Who the hell wears a business suit in the middle of summer? And in Vegas of all places?

Yeah, yeah, I live in Vegas, shut up, it's not cool (in any sense of the word).

Anybody who says it's hotter than hell outside makes me giggle. And by giggle, I mean stab their stomach.
Except for the people who live in Las Vegas. That place might as well BE Hell, only with more porn fliers.
-Johnny C. on Twitter.

Honestly, he's right.

On the bright side, I'm going swimming today at my sister's place. This makes me insanely happy. I'm going swimming twice in one week (another friend has a pool party on the 27th), and it gives me a chance to go outside without melting on the spot. It also means I get to see other friends I haven't seen since the school-year ended, like my friend Lucas. He's one of my best friends.

A while back, Lucas and I got into a really, really big fight. And then afterwards I was unsure we could ever be friends like we used to, but slowly we're bridging that gap again.

Anyways, we're about to leave, so I'll update again later. I don't think anyone's reading this but oh well. It's nice to get my thoughts out.

Tuesday, August 23, 2011


So... I've been going cross-eyed at random moments. I'm kinda near-sighted, but often I can go without my glasses. I've also been seeing weird shadows (though I normally start to hallucinate when I'm tired). Is it just that I need more sleep? Or am I gonna have to get glass eyes?


I didn't really do anything today. Went out with the family to a Chinese restaurant. I love Chinese food. No, I don't mean Panda Express. I mean those little, Mom 'n' Pop restaurants owned by a family of Asians who have a thick accent in their speech.

Those are the best Asian cuisine restaurants ever.

But yeah. Just a little family outing with my parents and my sister. Nothing special, but it was family time, and I enjoyed it.

School starts on the 29th. I'm a little nervous, a little excited, and overall... very anxious. These past two years haven't exactly been easy. Part of it was my own laziness, but there were other factors that caused my bad grades as well. This year I'm gonna have to discipline myself a lot.

I'm lazy. I'm argumentative, and stubborn, and I don't know when to hold my tongue. I would much rather be with the people I care about than to sit at a desk for five hours copying down what my instructor drones about and then have to re-write it into a 6-page essay later, when it was only a page and a half's worth of notes.

But I gotta change that attitude. It kills me but I do.

I want to be a writer. It's my passion, and what I absolutely love to do.

I've written one "erotica" story. For being the first one I'd written, it was pretty good and got a lot of amazing feedback. I've got another one in the works, but it's almost done. And then Lauren wants me to write about her and a guy we know xD That's gonna be awkward to write about.

Although I DO have normal stories xD trust me. On the other hand, they're all fanfictions. I haven't written anything... truly original yet. But I want to. In fact, I've got one idea brewing... it's something I've had in mind for a long while. And I do have two chapters written out, but all the characters are real people I know, and that wouldn't do if I plan to ever publish it.

But first--before anything, I'd have to get a typewriter. I can write on my laptop, no doubt, but there's too many distractions with that, and hand-writing something takes far too long. But a typewriter would be so nice to have...

Now, I don't want one of these >:I

No. No. That's ugly.

I want one of these.

Isn't that just gorgeous?

Ohdear. I'm starting to see things out of the corner of my eye again. Only instead of hallucinating about regular ol' shadows, I keep seeing spiders.

I have arachnophobia.

Thanks, brain, for conjuring that image--because I'm totally gonna be able to go to sleep now.

Well, there's really nothing else to say. I'm gonna go work on some story ideas (and probably delete them in the morning when I re-read what "genius" I wrote). Thank you, and good night.

Yes, I'm updating at half-past midnight. It's a miracle!

Monday, August 22, 2011


So... why don't I update at a more reasonable time?


So today was my friend's birthday party. And it was the GREATEST FREAKING THING, MAN. I haven't seen most of my friends all summer, and I forgot how much fun they can be.

To start things off, a few of us went to Lazer Quest first, and lemme just say that I suck. I mean, I'm terrible, but I love laser tag, nonetheless.

Afterwards we went to his house and played some Super Smash Bros. Brawl. Now, so far it was just four kids. Patrick--the birthday boy--Julianna (or was it Julianne?)--his girlfriend--Daniel (a kid Patrick and I go to school with), and myself. Patrick's girlfriend had no idea what she was doing, at all, really, but she was a great sport and did her best to fight us. Still, she was the first one dead in every round (we had it on survival mode with a stock of 5). Then it was up to me to fight both Daniel and Patrick, so what I usually did was jump and dodge around and not really do anything. I wanted Patrick and Daniel to duke it out first, and then I'd take on whoever was left.

Although, once they figured out what I was doing, both of them started to gang up on me, so I focused on one of them first before tackling the other with Fox.

I don't know what it is, but I can't play any of the other characters. Generally, if Fox is taken, I go for Link, then Meta Knight, and if those guys are taken I'll maybe go for Marth or Ike, but otherwise I'll just set the character selection to random, because either way I'm fucked. I just find Fox easiest for me to control.

Then at about 6, another guest arrived, a girl named Melissa. She's in my P. E. class, and one of my really good friends. So as soon as she walked into the living room I tackled her in a hug.

But the thing is, she's six feet. I'm five feet. So the tackling was more of a run-jump-hug thing.

We all took turns playing Wii Play, and then our other friend Chris showed up. And he's another one of my really good friends, only he's just as tall as Melissa, so I gave him the same running-jump-hug. Then Alyssa arrived with Tim, and I think Sam--and at some point Julianna left, so it was just our group. (Now, Alyssa and Melissa have confusing names, so I often call Melissa "Lizzie".)

Random fact about myself: I have awful stamina. I would not survive very long in a zombie apocalypse solely for the fact that I CAN'T RUN LONG DISTANCES--or even very fast. P. E. was always a bitch for me ;A;

But see, the thing is, I'm actually thin. Fantastic metabolism ftw. (Don't worry, I'm cherishing it while I can, I know it won't last)

So we're all debating whether we want to play soccer or football, and I'm sitting there going, "Oh, shit." Because sports just ain't my thing. I'm bad at football, and I'm actually kind of afraid of soccer (there's been more than one occasion where somebody kicked the ball into my face or my chest). So I said I'd either be referee or just sit out.

Chris and Tim didn't really want to play either, so they sat out with me. And there's something you should know about these guys. They're freaking hilarious. I mean, just imagine two tall, skinny white guys. One, a little skinnier than the other, has kinda curly brown hair, and dresses like a normal teen would--in a t-shirt and whatever pants he finds on the floor. The other has short, dark brown hair that he spikes and wears his asymmetrical leather jacket in the middle of fucking summer (though he was smart enough not to wear it today).

These two guys are like best friends, and every time they talk they bicker like old hens. One day I'll post a screencap of their conversations on Facebook. I swear, everybody loves watching them go back and forth with their insults and sarcastic remarks and general witticism. I wish Facebook had that smiley where the guy's eating popcorn, because that's how hilarious it is.

So, these guys are sitting out, keeping me company, and they start to argue like always. But I decide it's too freaking hot out for them to start messing around and actually have me laugh at it, so I stand up between them, pushing them apart and saying, "Timmy, Timmy--those kinds of comments might be hurtful to Chrissy--Chrissy, are you okay? Is Tim being a buttnugget like he always is?"

They laugh it off and we go back to sitting and watching the game with the other kids. When they switch to football, Tim stands up and jogs over, and Chris yells something about "thanks for ditching us, jerk!" But Tim either ignored it or Chris' complaints went unheard.

So then Chris and I get bored, and we start walking around the park, and find some sports stadium next door. It's just this huge field of grass, but no seats or anything, and there's those really big lights all over the place. There's no field markings or anything to indicate if it's for baseball or soccer or anything. It's whatever, so we decide to go down into it (it's actually at a lower elevation than the park the other kids were at--a steep drop, too).

But then I notice the pillars (not really pillars, actually) around the place, with chains linking them all together, and there's two signs on them that read "CLOSED" on either side.


So we go down the stairs to the grass and just chill out for a bit. It's just Chris and me--and I swear, if anybody says it should be written as "Chris and I", I'll punch that person in the ovaries (but if you're a guy I'll punch you hard enough to turn your jewels into ovaries anyway). We lay down and look at the sky, and I immediately sit back up for two reasons. First, I don't know what's been on that concrete (there's a path in the middle of the field). It's probably covered in semen for all I know. And the second reason is because if I look straight up at the sky, I get really dizzy and feel like I'm about to fall "off" the planet. I don't know, I've always had that weird thing about me.

I look back in the direction of where we walked from, and I still hear the other kids playing football, and I relax, knowing they're still there.

"I wonder if they even notice we're gone."

I snort a little at Chris, and then joke as if I was talking to someone in the group, "I don't know where the fuck  you guys went, we were just chillin' and then you all decide to wander off as you play. I mean, I don't wanna say you ditched us, but you ditched us. Jerks." He laughs, and then we start talking about how we should prank them. So, I screamed at the top of my lungs, and nothing happened. Chris starts screaming, and nothing happens.

sad trolls were sad.

So we're still sitting there, and I glance to one end of the field to the right, and see a guy standing there and staring at us. I got a little freaked out and nudged Chris. We both kinda giggled nervously and made our way out of the field--it did say it was closed :P so maybe that guy was standing there just as a warning that we shouldn't be there. We headed back up, met up with the group, and then we headed back to Patrick's house--along the way getting piggybacks from both Tim and Chris.


My stomach felt bloated at the end of it all xD

So, my parents called me when it was time to go, and then Patrick said he'd walk me out.

And then Alyssa did, along with Lizzie.

And so did Chris, Tim, Sam, and Daniel.

So basically, the whole pack walked me out, because I'm so loved by them all, and I got hugs from all of them before I got into the car (greeted by my parents and dog), and my parents asked if they all had to leave or if they all walked me out. When I answered the latter, they started laughing, saying that they now understand why Fritz can get a little jealous when I'm in mixed company.

We took Radar (our dog) to a dog park and let him run around a bit. I sat with my mom at a bench while my dad stood in the middle of the park, and we took turns calling Radar back and forth so he could run and get his exercise. When we had to leave, something struck me as odd about the place (the more I think on it, I felt like someone was... odd). But I was exhausted, and thought it was probably my tiredness getting to me and not allowing me to think properly.

Got home around half past 8, talked to Fritz, Tim, and Chris, and then they all went to bed. Chris, Tim and I hope so bad we get a class together this year xD if we do, I'm totally gonna bring a camera and record the stupid shit they do.

I'm still really gonna miss snuggling with Fritz on the bus :/ But at least he lives pretty close. This makes me happy. And he can drive, so we can see each other often enough.

Anyways. It's 4:33, and I'm... dead fucking tired xD nighty night, I guess

Sunday, August 21, 2011



Yeah, I'm far too bored to let it go. I wanna try to make it cool.


Portrait I did of my friend Rush. The signature at the bottom has the initials of my pseudonym and then my first name, "Emelia". I can't find the original picture of him I used as a reference in this, though.
That's my friend Lauren. Ain't she pretty? She always gets the guys. I'm kinda jealous, 'cause I wish I had that same attention. But then again, I have Fritz, and he'd get kinda jealous xD
Although the thought of him fighting another guy for me isn't half-bad.

And that's my friend Tora.

I actually really like drawing, but it's not very often that I get the opportunity/time to make something somewhat decent to look at. However, as I continue to do portraits for my friends, I'm getting better and better.

For example, here's a portrait of a guy I kinda look up to. I didn't want to put in a background, for fear of taking away from his overall appearance. The dark gray actually REALLY makes his hair stand out. The shine/shading I did in this is obviously better than my previous drawings.

And it bothers me how his glasses look so freaking hipster. But they're actually not as annoyingly hipster as they were when I first doodled them on. Compared to before, these look good xD

And I really like how the shine came out on his glasses and on the jacket.

Lauren was telling me earlier that I made him look manlier than he is IRL xD

He's got two other friends that I sorta idolize as well, and I'll be drawing portraits of them later.

I'd also put up one of my drawings of Fritz, but, frankly, none of them are that good. When I'm not backed up on requests I want to draw another one of him, and then upload it.

So, uh, yeah. I'm an artist, guise.